Hey dear postdoc,

Please try and get some sleep
Stop refreshing the rumor mill
We all know that you’re in, knee deep
But surely this is overkill?

Stop obsessing over bibliometric ranking 
It won’t tell you whose options are better
If successful, who you should really be thanking
Are those who wrote you a good letter

Stop strategizing and over-analyzing
This system is nonlinear and nonpredictive 
The outcomes may seem very surprising 
So stop fretting – I get it’s addictive

Stop wondering if your partner will go
Follow you to the end of the earth
A city, a town, in the dessert or snow
Small sacrifices that physics is worth

January 7th is now coming quite near
In our lives, the most fearful of dates
On which the reshuffle will become clear
The moment of truth for you and your mates

Remember:

It could all be over tomorrow 
With nothing lined up when your contact ends
Who will be there for you in your sorrow
Perhaps some of your non-physics friends? 

But also:

Always remember why you do it  
Those moments of bliss by the blackboard
For exciting derivations, a great chi^2-fit
Great conferences to which you look forward

But for now, please try and sleep some more
May sweet dreams fill your night
Of the faculty job that all this is for
And for that, you should keep holding tight